in a non-work environment, i have to maintain contact with a person who has very much an open dislike and disrespect of who I am and what I do. Trying to confront them is fruitless. how would you deal with someone like that?
:rofl: :rofl: seriously, I tend to keep most everyone at arms length...with few exceptions, sometimes it's just easier that way...I'm a pretty open book once you get the subscription...as close friends can attest to. In your case and when I'm in a similar situation: don't give up anything your not willing to lose...
well, i'm a very blunt individual with few scruples as it is. Don't make the mistake of asking me what I thnk because I'll tell you. but this guy doesn't ask. in fact, he places the least possible value on what i do, what i can do, and what i have done.
so it's easy he's doesn't exist...if someone is so oblivious to who you really are, then they aren't a blip on the radar.... oops EDIT: got sidetracked....I say be civil and treat him/her LIKE a work relationship then...if he has no interest in you, then don't have any interest in him/her...If they are that self involved they won't even notice and in retrospect that can be your own personal joke/dialog
Be so forgiving and accepting that any reasonable person, looking on from the outside, would say he's a loser. There's no way you'll feel bad about your behavior, and it will wear on him unless he's a sociopath. If he's a sociopath, try to work him out of your life.
i dont feel bad in the least. the problem is 'working' with this guy on things. he's in a (relative) position of authority over me, but there are two others at the same level i get along with doing things fine. They don't blame me for his behavior, either. Nor do i give a shit what anyone thinks of me. So my problem is only localised to how do I deal with him myself?
thats why i put it in quotes. ;p Its not a job, but it is work to get done. ... i just realised, I work near where you must've taken your Av pic.
Do the other guys notice the objectionable behavior you perceive, and if so what is the behavior? From the quoted post it sounds like they might. Hopefully you can take the high road and not let his actions get the best of you, or somehow change your situation with that person, but if that's not possible, there's the backup option of kicking him square in the nuts.
lots of people have this problem. they're call in-laws... okay seriously, all you can do is maintain a level of civility and let him/her know you expect likewise. and both agree to do what's possible to stay out of eachother's hair.
My 2c. Unfortunately, people suck and conflicts in the workplace are inevitable. If you need a working relationship with this person to get your work done, then it is in your best interest to be civil, do you work and go home. On lookers, like Dean said, will know he's a loser. I'm 99% confident that you are not the ONLY person being treated poorly by this individual. People like this who don't value you / what you do are compensating for something they lack, are threatened by you or were just born a prick. In the long wrong, he will get his. Trust me, I've seen it happen a dozen times over my career. IMO, just do your job, smile at said individual and be civil - it'll all work out in the end. Or...
the problem is, i've known this guy for close to 15 years, but i haven't really felt this vibe from him until about 4 years ago. I'm not made of glass, so I don't know why he doesn't just -tell- me what the problem is.
Interesting...how long have you worked with him? Have you asked him what the problem is? Call him on it.