A woman goes to the doctor, beaten Black and Blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed and is asleep." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!" Doctor "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Some of these made me lol. The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds. Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs Q. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’ A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
This. What the FUCK could that lady have been doing to not see this man decked out in BLUE GEAR with a BLUE BIKE. mfl texting.
If you haven't been following this, you should. I'm not sure of the implications that will arise, but there's some seriously fucked up shit going on it's taking a bunch of hackers to expose it. Great Read. LOL Aaron Barr After hacking HBGary's website, this was what was seen. I especially love the "you tried to bite at the anonymous hand, and now the anonymous hand is bitch slapping you in the face"
he's lucky that bike didnt go across the median into oncoming traffic...falling of the bike would have been the least of his worries
The idiots that ride without full saftey wear....:facepalm: I ride with gloves, helmet, bike boots and my armor jacket. I'm shopping for pants now but none fit me right.
BWAHHAHAHAHAHA - long, but awesome. Brett and I were on the floor laughing. #1 comment - i like how russia has adopted the "way the fuck over there" unit of measurement. [youtube]8O_bHR3BmTY[/youtube]