Payback

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by oneiguy, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. oneiguy

    oneiguy Active Member

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    Enjoy



    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:


    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...


    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'


    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'


    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.


    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'


    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'


    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'


    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'


    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
     
  2. Jake

    Jake Active Member

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  3. SonicBoom

    SonicBoom Active Member

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    Good stuff
     
  4. Cool_____

    Cool_____ Banned

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    I laughed so hard and so loud. Thanks.
     
  5. Ben@TTR

    Ben@TTR Member

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    lol priceless
     
  6. RSConvert

    RSConvert ɹǝuɹnʇpɐǝɥ uʞnɟɐɥnɯ ɐ sʇı
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    :bowdown:
     
  7. Bug-Rex

    Bug-Rex Active Member

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    That is ridiculously awesome!
     
  8. 1ll-WRX

    1ll-WRX Active Member

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    Well played!! :p
     
  9. Alex

    Alex Community Founder
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    :eek:

    You're back Scott?
     

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