Anger Management

Discussion in 'Peanut Gallery' started by EJRex, Apr 4, 2009.

  1. EJRex

    EJRex Member

    This is only a funny story. If you try this, you are on your own.





    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
    to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
    "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
    Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
    number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
    Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone,
    I yelled "You're an asshole!"
    and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,
    and put it in my desk drawer.

    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
    day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole
    calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
    Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
    Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
    asshole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd be en waiting
    for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back
    window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole (I had
    his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
    arsehole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
    "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and
    the car's parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
    "I'm hom e every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
    "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
    speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up
    with an idea. I called asshole #1. "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked.
    "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed.
    "Make me," I said.
    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my
    black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

    Then I called asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, asshole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
    34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill
    my
    gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in
    Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just
    in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
    front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
    news crew.

    NOW I feel much better.

    Anger management really works... :lol:
     
  2. SonicBoom

    SonicBoom Active Member

    Funny stuff.. :)
     
  3. Cool_____

    Cool_____ Banned

    I chuckled.
     
  4. Ben@TTR

    Ben@TTR Member

    I lol'd..so did my wife
     
  5. FACE

    FACE Active Member

    :rofl: I may have to try this jk

    You can block numbers these days hummm LOL
     
  6. FACE

    FACE Active Member

    I love coming back to this. :rofl:
     
  7. EJRex

    EJRex Member

    Yeah it was pretty damn funny :D
     

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