"Best come back line ever"

Discussion in 'Peanut Gallery' started by Jewels450, Sep 26, 2007.

  1. Jewels450

    Jewels450 Member

    This was recently in the Seattle Paper... The title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

    Police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday night.
    On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around," he stated in a telephone interview.

    Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just having his way with this pumpkin."

    Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor. "I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said.....

    "A pumpkin? ........is it midnight already?
     
  2. AXLEJOHNSON

    AXLEJOHNSON Member

    Hahaha, thats a good one, I wonder how he had the presence of mind to be that witty, but still make love to a pumpkin.
     
  3. Jewels450

    Jewels450 Member

  4. wrxin8or

    wrxin8or Mullitt Staff Member

    i was gonna write a response to this, but i just know mmtasty will use it in the wrong context

    funny story though
     
  5. mmtasty

    mmtasty Active Member

  6. Alex

    Alex Community Founder Staff Member

    :ky:
     
  7. BKiller

    BKiller Active Member

  8. Deke

    Deke Active Member

    Haha yeah, definitely didn't sound real to me (just the way it was written). But funny nonetheless.
     
  9. Kolgoth

    Kolgoth Supporting Member

    Who cares if it's real - still great stuff! Haha That poor pumpkin.. Guess I should think twice before I buy a pumpkin pie this holiday season eh?
     
  10. Berzerklo

    Berzerklo Active Member

    Lets kick this thread up a notch!

    Jack-O-Lantern Porn. WHOOOOO!!!!
    I know what I am making for Halloween this year....


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  11. AXLEJOHNSON

    AXLEJOHNSON Member

    ^Thats awesome, if we are stepping it up a notch.....

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Berzerklo

    Berzerklo Active Member

    I wonder who is the lucky sonofabitch that got to paint on lardo's ass? :eek:hnoes:
     
  13. AXLEJOHNSON

    AXLEJOHNSON Member

    I don't know, but painting the nose and mouth had to be the fun part. Is anyone a painter, how do you figure the square footage for a job like that?
     
  14. Weapon

    Weapon 90lbs of dynamite Supporting Member

    :barf:
     
  15. AXLEJOHNSON

    AXLEJOHNSON Member

    When I posted this I didn't realize it was a Tier I violation, so now I am asking for forgiveness on a couple different levels, one for everyone's eyes, and two for the clear violation.
     
  16. FACE

    FACE Active Member

    ^ I forgive you
     
  17. FACE

    FACE Active Member

    2nd
     
  18. 05wrx

    05wrx Member

    HAHAHAA quite witty for a guy who has just been caught orange handed
     

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