Gimme your tots.... (and a joke)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by lostinthewoods, Mar 25, 2005.

  1. lostinthewoods

    lostinthewoods Frisco Tx Baller

    Ok, just bored and submitting a random thread while I enjoy a little lunch..

    mmmmm
    Sam Adam's and Carrott Cake. Lunch of champions.

    Oh well, back to work. Only a few more hours and hopefully a good weekend tomorrow if the weather holds out !!

    anyways a lil Penguin Humor *w00t*

    penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.

    The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.

    He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess.

    He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"

    The mechanic replied, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

    "No no," said the penguin. "It's just ice cream."
     
  2. Weapon

    Weapon 90lbs of dynamite Supporting Member

    bah hahaha..nice..
    A man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman
    just passing and said, "Pardon me, miss, do you happen to have the time?"

    In a strident voice she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to
    me?"

    The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortable aware that
    every pair of eyes in the place had turned in their direction. He mumbled,
    "I just asked the time, miss."

    In a voice even louder, the woman shrieked, "I will call the police if you
    say another word!"

    Grabbing his drink, and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened
    to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and
    wondering how soon he could sneak out the door.

    Not more than half a minute had passed when the woman joined him. In a
    quiet voice, she said, "I am terribly sorry, sir, to have embarrassed you,
    but I am a psychology student at the university and I am writing a thesis
    on the reaction of human beings to sudden shocking statements."

    The man stared at her for three seconds, then he leaned back and bellowed,
    "You'll do all that for me all night for just ten dollars?"
     
  3. lostinthewoods

    lostinthewoods Frisco Tx Baller

    Weapon I see your working as hard as I am hehehe..

    Rock On :fruit:
     
  4. Weapon

    Weapon 90lbs of dynamite Supporting Member

    yea..its friday..and VERY slow..my REFRESH button is getting wore out
     
  5. lostinthewoods

    lostinthewoods Frisco Tx Baller

    I totally agree. The weather outside is extremely nice right now. Its tough not to just leave the home office and take a drive. LOL

    Whatcha do for work man?
     
  6. Weapon

    Weapon 90lbs of dynamite Supporting Member

    im an assistant property manager at an apartment community..how bout you?
    One day a lady went to the doctor's office and told the doctor
    that her husband wasn't interested in her any more he just
    wouldn't have sex with her anymore.
    So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of
    100 pills. He told her that "if you give your husband one of
    these pills then he would have sex with you."
    So she bought the pills and took them home. She put one in his
    dinner and he ate it. They had sex till midnight. The next day
    she thought it was so good that she wanted some more. so she put
    two in his dinner and they had sex till twelve noon the next day.
    She thought it was so good that she put all of the pills in his
    dinner and he ate it.
    Three weeks later a little kid was outside screaming and a guy
    walked up to him and asked him what was wrong. The little kid
    said, "My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my asshole hurts
    and my dad is in there on the floor saying, 'here kitty kitty
    kitty...'"
     
  7. lostinthewoods

    lostinthewoods Frisco Tx Baller

    Haha... nice one.

    I am a software engineer.. c0mpu73r n3rd hehe.
     
  8. Weapon

    Weapon 90lbs of dynamite Supporting Member

    nice! i thought abuot getting into something creative like webpage design or something like that but i have too much on my plate right now to pursue a different career..you live in the duluth area?

    Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
    It seats 500.
     
  9. lostinthewoods

    lostinthewoods Frisco Tx Baller

    I am actually in Cumming. I swear I never see any subies up my way plus I do whatever I can to stay off of 400.

    I think I am heading over towards SoG to get my windows tinted manana.
     
  10. ScoobyMike

    ScoobyMike OG Mod

    Buddy, you crack me up....:hahano:
     

Share This Page