If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable. thank you mitch hedberg.
"I shouldeven do this joke, cause it's going to ruin my cover. I like the FedEx driver, cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it. and, he's always of time." thank you again, Mitch Hedberg.
My manager told me, “Don't use alcohol as a crutch.” I can't use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It's more like the step I didn't see. Gracias mi amigo Mitch.
FUNNY ASS dead comedian. He died of a heart attack about 2 days before he was going to do a show in Atl. SUCKS! Why do the great ones always leave us so freakin' early?
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right."