An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Few hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend. "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?" The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars." The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute: "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks. - "Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
So this man walks into a bar. Ouch. A nun, a rabbi, and Bill Gates walk into a bar. The bartender goes, "is this some sort of joke?" A horse walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "Look, pal, I don't mind the long face.. but don't try to start anything."
A Jewish guy walks into a bar, sits on a barstool and orders a drink. A few minutes later, out of nowhere the guy sitting next to him backfists him and sends him to the ground. The Jewish guy gets up and says to the guy. "What the hell was that for!" The guy answers back, "that was my Karate from Korea". The Jewish guy shrugs it off and sits back down to his drink. A couple minutes later, he gets knocked to the ground again. He gets up flaming angry and turns to the guy and says "What the fuck". The guy responds back "That was my Judo from Japan." The Jewish guy was pissed and left the bar. He comes back 20 minutes later, sits down at the bar again and orders another drink. A couple minutes later, the other guy is knock out and drops to the floor. The Jewish guy says to the Bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was my Crowbar from KMart."